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So carrying on the tradition. The tradition of the masses gathering together with the rickety old rides, scuzzy old workers, overpriced corn dogs, the sweet smell of welfare cheques being spent in a single evening before midnight.
Just writing it makes me feel like I'm in the middle of a Trailer Park Boys episode.
However, were here none the less.
Emma would love it if Daddy took her on the bumble bee ride. With absolute pleasure i grabbed her and ran into line before she changed her mind and wanted Mom to take her on her 15th ride in a row. I needed a thrill other than standing behind a stroller all night watching Mom and Emma have all the fun.
NEAT. If you strap y yourself in. Your offspring to the left of you. Yourself trying to be the coolest Dad there with your anecdotes such as "oh Emma this is going to be the best ride all night", or "hold on tight because were going to go way up high". Even NEATER the operator illustrates how you make the bumble bee fly up in the air by pulling the bar into you as far as it can go, but if you get too scared just let go of the bar and the bee will fly to safety down to the ground.
Ride starts.
I give Emma a moment to get adjusted.
She commands "Lets go high dadda"
"You ready Babes?...lets go...."
The anticipation must have really worn Emma out because when i couldn't pull the Freaking bar far enough into my stomach to get that gay little bee to go 2 meters in the air, she started to question me.
"Why we not go hi...dadda??
"My Tummy is too fat" as i hung my head in absolute shame. But didn't give up. The little train that could..was me for the next 4 minutes of the ride. Pulling that steel tubular object as far as i could into my stomach passing my then functioning pancreas, bulging out my intestines. UP UP UP...yes little buzz guy was flying high.
Emma was happy.
I was hurting.
Momma was bent over laughing her ass off. I think that was her down there but i couldn't see much past my burst blood vessels in my eyes.
So of course after the ride Emma needs to replay what just happened to mom. Humouring half of the line up waiting to go on next.
Good times.
Topper!! This morning eating french toast: "dada...your tummy stiw fat?"
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