Monday, June 25, 2007

Honey in My Tummy

The Red River Exibition comes to town every June for a week since the past 30 or so years. It is a sign that Summer is here.
So carrying on the tradition. The tradition of the masses gathering together with the rickety old rides, scuzzy old workers, overpriced corn dogs, the sweet smell of welfare cheques being spent in a single evening before midnight.
Just writing it makes me feel like I'm in the middle of a Trailer Park Boys episode.
However, were here none the less.
Emma would love it if Daddy took her on the bumble bee ride. With absolute pleasure i grabbed her and ran into line before she changed her mind and wanted Mom to take her on her 15th ride in a row. I needed a thrill other than standing behind a stroller all night watching Mom and Emma have all the fun.
NEAT. If you strap y yourself in. Your offspring to the left of you. Yourself trying to be the coolest Dad there with your anecdotes such as "oh Emma this is going to be the best ride all night", or "hold on tight because were going to go way up high". Even NEATER the operator illustrates how you make the bumble bee fly up in the air by pulling the bar into you as far as it can go, but if you get too scared just let go of the bar and the bee will fly to safety down to the ground.
Ride starts.
I give Emma a moment to get adjusted.
She commands "Lets go high dadda"
"You ready Babes?...lets go...."
The anticipation must have really worn Emma out because when i couldn't pull the Freaking bar far enough into my stomach to get that gay little bee to go 2 meters in the air, she started to question me.
"Why we not go hi...dadda??
"My Tummy is too fat" as i hung my head in absolute shame. But didn't give up. The little train that could..was me for the next 4 minutes of the ride. Pulling that steel tubular object as far as i could into my stomach passing my then functioning pancreas, bulging out my intestines. UP UP UP...yes little buzz guy was flying high.
Emma was happy.
I was hurting.
Momma was bent over laughing her ass off. I think that was her down there but i couldn't see much past my burst blood vessels in my eyes.
So of course after the ride Emma needs to replay what just happened to mom. Humouring half of the line up waiting to go on next.
Good times.

Topper!! This morning eating french toast: "dada...your tummy stiw fat?"


Minnesota Nice said...

Summertime community festivals are the best! I'm glad your post didn't include any episodes of tossed cookies!

Chris said...

funny...i did everything but toss them.

Shannon said...


Lesson not take a sip of coffee while reading your posts...had a near fatal choking episode from burst of laughter.

If that isn't the cutest picture of Emma. She looks soooo excited to go waaaay up high. If she only knew at that time what daddy was capable of.

Carey said...

Chris -

This was so damn funny! I almost wet myself after the "gay little bee" comment.

LORI said...

LOL... very cute.

Your reference to the Trailer Park Boys made me laugh initially though. I'm in Northern Ontario, so I can totally relate! Our "festival" of freaks is coming up in the first weekend of August.

Kelli said...

Chris -

I have been trying to read as much of your blog as possible over the last few days and just wanted to say thank you. Your stories of your family and Emma are funny, endearing and give me such hope. My son was diagnoised with type 1 in late February of this year – he turned 4 a few weeks later. As you know, it has been a huge struggle for us, but finding blogs like yours has made me feel so much better. It has even prompted me to start my own blog.

Thanks again for sharing your life.


P.S. Today’s post reminders me so much of my growing up. My father’s stomach always seemed to get in the way of the rides...and we still talk about it today!

Chris said... guys are all awesome.
Thanks for the ..ummm....well whishes.

Major Bedhead said...

*snort* It would be nice, sometimes, if they weren't

Chris said...

I know...people are too nice on here. It would have been nice for someone to lie a little. IN this case no one told me that my ab looked fine. I have been working on it all spring. All those beers and chicken i was training hard.

LORI said...

Absolutely. I will do the same. :)

Shannon said...

You know, I WAS going to say that your abs look pretty flat and that maybe you have unusually large inner organs that were causing the problem.

But I was distracted by Emma's hopeful little face and concentrating too hard on trying not to choke to death.

Sorry I didn't take the time to say your abs look fine.

Major Bedhead said...

I meant your daughter! Not us. We're awful. :D

Jamie said...

Oh Chris .... just be glad you didn't take her on the boat. :(

I did that with Brooke a couple of years ago - with a friend of mine and her daughter. The girls were too little to go by themselves, so we had to go on with them. When they clamped that bar across our guts to "strap" us in, we about died. Then another kid decided to get on - so they released the bar (where we let out a gasp of relief), then they got the kids on and clamped that damned bar back down on us. Oh. My. God. I think that guy made the ride extra long cause he could see the agony in our eyes (or was that a vein about to burst??). I thought my intestines were going to either enlarge my breast size or increase my ankle size.

Not good.

Why is it that we've shared a lot of these horrible experiences???