Sunday, February 18, 2007

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Did You Order Disorder?

It is very hard to imagine that one week has passed. This has been a test. I had a very long time to study for it. My instructors have lead me well. Many pop quizzes along the way, many late night study sessions and early morning drills. But "on paper" it all looks so organized and methodical. Until the day i was thrown into the fire.
Page 1.
Phone Number -this was definitely the easy part. No problemo.

Q. A family of three lives together in the capital city of Manitoba. The father (X)works long hours at a demanding physical job. The mother (Y) is a Social Worker for the Government ensuring other peoples children are safe from societies cruel intentions. The gorgeous daughter (Z) has diabetes and is a little too smart for her own good.

If: X + Y + Z = perfect
Therefore X - Y + Z = ?

A. Chaos.
I will take credit where credit is due. But when Y was incapacitated on Friday. It was like i did not know what to do. It became very apparent that we rely on Momma more than we thought. I am able to do every single task that is required at home, daycare and work. BUT not all at once in a perfect orderly fashion as we are all used to.

eg. Emma sits down for dinner. I am questioning myself over and over is this the right amount of carbs. What did she have for snack. What was her lunch number. Was she running around.
See i never have to do that on my own. I just have to put it out there and Momma usually has the answer.
I'm enjoying my supper but Emma is not eating. I'm thinking to myself this is odd, usually she at least plays with her food as soon as we sit. But a few minutes go by.
I start to worry and upon running my hands over my forehead and hair i notice something. So i got up. Walked over to the drawer. Grabbed a fork. Gave it to Emma. Then she ate it all up.
I was so worried about my basic needs such as don't fall down, sleep when tired, wipe ass. That I couldn't judge the task at hand.
Meanwhile Momma was on the Couch propped up enough to see this all unfold with tears running down her cheeks. She cannot move let alone laugh. So now she is laughing and adjusting so she cannot see us anymore. To avoid laughing because it hurts too badly.
Just then Emma mentions..."PEEE...PEEE" Oh my, quick grab her take her down and take her to her potty. Yes! Mission i thought.
Emma stands. I am so happy and relieved i averted a potential water hazard. Momma can see her behind and mentions without moving her lips "she has poo on sticking out of her bum Dadda."
NEVER EVER spook a 2year old with poo hanging out of their bum. Yes they tend to run away. They think a good hiding place would be behind the curtains on the other side of brand new carpeting. At this point i felt like i was hunting a gazelle in Africa with only one tree to hide behind. So i had only one choice but to flank her left side so she would run to my dominant right arm and scoop her upside down enough to balance the the poo enough until i got to the toilet where i shook her booty until it splashed into the bowl splashing me in the nose. Chaos.

But at the end of the day Momma is feeling much better today. I was waiting for her to turn that proverbial corner and start recovering. She did awesome. Our Emma knew enough to know she didn't know what was going on but to adapt the way we had to since Friday.
Emma blood sugars have been SPOT ON! The mix we give her in the morning has really dialed her in. But anyway that has been a little sliver of how our life has been. Things are going to be even more amazing when Momma recovers totally.
Life has been defining me lately and it has been filled with watching a part of me grow and take life in the form of a family. Emma has taught me more about being a man than anyone every has or ever will. Thank you for being here Emma.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Life Comes at You Fast

Mom asked what i was going to do when i got home from the hospital tonite. Just 3 hours after her emergency surgery. And i said. Well I'm going to watch the rest of Hockey Night in Canada, have a beer or two and probably publish a post about this.

She "smirked" then fell back into her morphine induced state.

Please forgive me for not going into detail and being extremely vague about "this" at the moment. I don't want to sound needy or dramatic by any means but i feel this blog serves a purpose for me these days. I just need to "ink" it this way for now. Because i know how amazing everyone is on here and their support and compassion it totally unsurpassed that is needed right now. My mind and thoughts are in a frenzy right now. I have a very little clue on how Momma musters the strength and bravery that is getting her through this right now, but i do have a little bit of an idea...