Estrogen

All is well at home. I now have three girls that live under my roof. I really like the sounds of that. But just like anything that surely has two sides to it. The best part of it is that I HAVE TWO GIRLS. The flip side of that is I HAVE TWO GIRLS. Oh my. It is incredible how quickly life changes. How intensely your feelings toward others has grown stronger and more complex.

Having a new born is really easy. Because we have done it before. We are much more relaxed and go with the flow much more than we did with Emma.

The hardest part is having a new born with a 3 year old. Now this is like nothing we could have imagined before. We tried. We thought. We figured. But nothing close to the dynamic we have now. But you know what...i would not trade it for ANYTHING in this entire world.

Emma has grown so much this past 3 days. I lift her up and i am instantly carrying a very big little girl in every sense of the word. I talk to her like i am talking to a 13 year old. She gets everything. She is by far the glue in this house lately.

She is humbling to me. Humbling to the effect that i have reverted back to my basics as a Father. I lover her for that.

As for little Anna. Well she poops. Oh lord does she poop. No mistake there that she is mine. And yes she is the most adorable little creature you could every lay eyes on. I am excited for her. She sleeps. My neck gets sore for starring at her sleeping, something i may not do when she is 14. That would just be creepy. She cries. I love her cry (for now). It is so soothing to me. I feel like everything is ok when she cries. Especially when she opens her mouth giving us all a "holla" and seeing her thin little tongue quiver and her cheeks glow a bright red, so adorable.

God has blessed us.

Anna Mae

She is just perfect!

No Shame To My Game

Oh yea i almost forgot...Diabetes Sucks!

I Love Lip Dub

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo.

My Little Ballerina...?

These poses were suggessted by none other than Emma herself. I think we should be going to a contemporary dance studio instead.

No News (Yet)

but cramping...
but anxious...
but tired...
but bloated...
..and thats just me, imagine how Momma feels.

Life

Who Knew

Sometimes when there is so much to say i end up saying nothing at all. Sometimes when there is so much to do i end up doing nothing at all(ask my wife). The fact of the matter is that I have no idea where to start. How could i not have anything to say when so many unexpected factors are affecting every minute of our lives?
Maybe saying nothing says it all.
The only thing that i want to ask and answer myself is can Type1 Diabetes be any more of a screwed up disease? Yes i do believe so. Particularlly when two parents have to manage it within a toddler.
I remember my life as far back when i was 3 years old. I remember the joy of waking up on Saturday morning and watching cartoons and eating cereal in my jammies. I remember growing up with two Sisters getting carted off to ones' ringette game and the others dance classes. I remember playing my very first hockey game. I remember feelings and emotions that came hand in hand with growing up. I remember feeling dejected, praised, and accepted.
I relate fully to my litle girl growng up. I know how she is feeling when she is promissed for the next day her dada will take her to get her first fish bowl and fish. I remember that excitement the anticipation and the joy, the unknown.
I remember ALL of these things.
What i do not remember and cannot relate what soever is having a low blood sugar in the midst of a play group. I do not remember having high blood sugar and feeling "icky" before bed. I do not remember having to hide behind the couch so that momma or dada will not see me when it is time to have a needle. I never knew anything about my body other than it hurts when i fall it feels nice when i am clean and i pee when i have to.
All of this i never will claim that i know what it feels like or ever in my life will i ever know what this all feels like.
This is what is so hard about this. I cannot share my daughters pain. I want to. It would be condusive to our lives and management if we knew. Life doesn't suck..this does.
This is not a "poor me" post at all. This is a reality post. The reality of how I will never ever know one of the biggest factors in my little Emma's life.
I pray to god there will be a cure. Please say a prayer with me.