It is evident that Emma is a truly special little girl. Not special in the fact that we have to keep her in a bubble or touch her softly so that she doesn't break in half. But special for the fact that she has something very different from the little girl playing next to her. Different from the little boy that just finished asking Santa for his Transformer for christmas. Is she is different in a very special way? Or very special in a different way?
I would prefer to say that she is special in a different way. But that is not how I look at her 100% of the time. I do not do it in a sad or poor her sort of way. I think it is just a natural feeling.
It is natural to think that waking your daughter up in the morning and get the equipment ready to draw blood out of her finger to get a number that will dictate how we all feel collectively, is different.
It is also natural to think that your daughter is different when you have to tell her to go find her fishy because i have to inject her with a determined amount of drugs that will allow her to funtion normally throughout the day.
It is natural to think differently about your daughter after leaving in the morning to get coffee and coming back peering into the front window see her not playing but laying on the floor and Mom crouched above her with a needle stuck in her arm.
Yes she runs. Yes she plays. Yes she giggles and laughs. But not without me thinking "oh thank god she is laughing, playing, giggling and laughing".
Will there be a day where i dont thank god that she doing this? And just let her be?
Emma will go through her life running. By the looks of it she will not slow down for anything. There may be times we have to hold her hand or even have to carry her for that matter. But for sure she will go through her life with ones that will hold her hand and carry her because one day we will need the same from Emma. And this will come natural to her.
Thank you Emma. Thank you for showing me the value of life. Thank you for showing me the meaning of love. Thank you for being strong.
You are the difference.
Daddy loves you.