Saturday, December 10, 2005
My mind has never been so blown out of its shell as much as it has this past year. Holy crapola i have a baby girl that is turning one year old next week. That is totaly insane in the membrane. I mean exaclty a year ago today it was just the two of us totally oblivious of what was about to happen. Technically we knew we were going to have a baby and things are going to change a little bit. Holy shit were we out of it. Who the heck knew it would be this way. Not a breath goes by without thinking of her. Not one decision is made without her in mind. No converstaion happens without getting her involved one way or another.
No less than a year ago could she breath without her mother, not even a year ago can she open her eyes, not even a year ago could she make a peep. But less than one year later she talks, schooches, sings, colors, laughs, cries, eats, sits, and stands. Im dead serious after she took her crayon out of her mouth tonite she started "coloring" with it. Then at that moment the realization that we have a little daughter on our hands became alot more intense.
Emma has done something to me. She has made me her Dada. Just one year into it and the surprises are countless.
I was talking to Scott today and i feel his miracle is on its way. THe way he talks about how much him and Sandra want to start trying again gets me so excited for him. Because when it happens for them i want to share in that incredible journey to sit there in the hospital with him and tell him "I told you so". He will understand what i mean. Because until it happens to you, you have no clue. I wish everyone can experince this. With saying that i hope that one day one of the condoms Steve uses has a hole in it.
In a weird contradicting way i dont want Emma to turn one. Sheesh that means all that has happend, just happend. And now commited to memories and pictures. What happens when she does turn one. I dont want to foget that little crown on her head she had when she cam out of Mama. I want to still feel her face on my neck when she used to nap. And how can we not see her do those quasi sit ups she used to do to check everything out when she was three months old. Ah screw it ww will just have five more kids.
Well thats it for now. For now i mean. This is sort of turning into a journal more than anything. But is it your blog ????? No its mine so back off.