Monday, September 07, 2009


When your 4 (almost 5) year old type 1 diabetic child tells you that she is shaky and feels low....FUCKING LISTEN TO HER.

Oh man do i ever feel like an idiot. Please let me beat myself up for a bit here.

Yesterday Emma and myself were doing our own thing in the basement...playing dolls and playing tiger woods golf...(insert who was doing what here).

EMMA: "Dadee...i'm feeling shaky."

Dadee: "Okay E. "

So i guess when she heard my words "Okay E".
She felt i was in control of the situation and i would look after her. But god dammit. Why did i not listen to her. Why did i not do something about this right away. I feel like balling as i write this.
NOT the least bit acceptable. We preach, advocate, brag, on how well we manage her diabetes and how dialed in we are. Also on how well Emma is in control of how she feels and how she can literate it.
All of that went down the toilet yesterday - for myself.
Yes obviously she was REALLY low. After i got off my ass and looked after her i drove to macs and got her a 10g thin chocolate bar. So after that she was 2.8 (50.4).
This was so bad she told mom what happened and started to cry.
Cry because she thought i did not care?
Did she cry because she felt like shit and i did not do anything about it?
Was she crying because she knows exactly what happened - and daddy fucked up on such a serious volume?

Terrible terrible.
This will never happen again.
I am so thankful and blessed to have Denise on this side of Emma's diabetes. Momma is as close to a cure there is in my eyes.
Thanks for looking after my girl.


Shannon said...

It happens to the best of us and we kick ourselves for it too.'s what we parents feel a LOT.

Chris said...

Guilt , shame, embarrassed.
all of the above on that one.

Shannon said...

That's how I feel when I watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta. But I keep watching it anyway.

Chris said...

Holy shit that's funny. seriously LOL'd.

Jenn said...

Dont know what to say.. but this sucks for Emma and for you and Denise. I am sorry you have to live with this!

Jamie said...

Dood, just saw this post - not sure why I saw the one above it and not this one??

FYI - we have ALL done it ... ALL OF US, so don't beat yourself up over it. Been there, done that ... and our kids are still OK.

Chin up and Shannon - you crack me up!