Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Exploiting My Self X7

1. I love to cook, eat, and drink ANYTHING. I am pretty sure there is not one thing on this planet that i cannot stomach. Once while fishing with spider monkeys of the coast of st cox's bazaar i ate stew where the main ingredient was spit.

2. I have never broke 80 on the golf course. The closest i have come to it was a 83 on my home course in Vancouver 10 years ago. I hurt my back soon after smoking too much peyote and trying to cliff dive into a lake of crusty hay.

3. I have hairy balls. I actually have a friend who's last name is Ballharry. Good thing he was an early bloomer or he could have been ridiculed to death.

4. I once had a meeting with a University Volleyball coach to see if i was interested in playing at the University level. But i got laid that summer so i lost interest in Volleyball for a while.

5. I stayed overnight at my friends house recently and switched all of the cereal bags into the wrong boxes, then i pooped in their cat litter.

6. I cut my toenails three times a year.

6.5 . This past two weeks i have had 20 or so double shot espresso from Starbucks. My stomach flipped and fluttered like the first time you see your new born child as i drove by a Starbucks today. I am addicted, and i will need help on this very soon. You can say a Doppio is my vice, my crutch, my Friend.

7. I have cried more in this past year than i ever have all together in my entire life. Even though it has been one of my best all around years.

Being tagged is like a comment on my blog glorified. Thanks Amylia and Viv!

12 comments:

Shannon said...

A lake of crusty hay.
Pooped in their cat litter.
Main ingredient was spit.

OMFG I think I'm high on peyote just from reading this.

Ballharry....excuse me while I roll on the floor....laughing.

in search of balance said...

I think this is the best one I've read so far....

Bad Decision Maker said...

LOL... pooped in their cat litter... you are my hero...

Kerri. said...

Did you really poop in their litter box? Oh my God that is making me laugh!

Amylia said...

holy schnikees, this is some funny shit.

you are awesome! my new hero! *is that sick?*

Carey said...

You, my friend, are one sick mofo.

While many of us give thanks this time of year and rejoice with our families, you ...

poop in kitty litter.

Well done sir.

Chris said...

You guys! Its not as if i did not cover it. Sheesh.

Molly said...

....can't talk...laughing my a-- off. Nice one.

Bernard said...

Chris

Way too much information. :-)

But you definitely win the meme award.

Paige said...

I think I just peed my pants a little. That was too funny.

(By the way, I was going to have you and your family over for dinner soon, but...umm, no. Thanks for the warning.)

Jamie said...

Holy shit man! I'm sitting here laughing till tears come out of my eyes and my kid is asking me what's so funny ... no way I'm telling her Chris pooped in someone's litter box. (glad to hear that you at least covered it up ... but there's a large discrepency between cat poop and man poop - you must have used a lot of litter on that one!)

Oh man ...

Scott K. Johnson said...

LMFAO!!!!! GREAT list Chris!